Girl 1: so did you hear about xxxx? apparently he came out at a party this weekend when he was really drunk! xxxx is GAY!
Girl 2: what? no **** way. I can't believe that.
Girl 1: yah, but i guess he took it back the next day.
Girl 2: wtf? you can't take it back...thats impossible he wouldn't say it if it went true. you can't take something like that back!!!
when i heard this conversation i thought about a conversation we had in class that week about how someone defines themselves. the way in which individuals label themselves in society is a weird thing to think about.
I mean so what? a guy you thought was straight stated that he was in fact gay one night at a party, and in the morning he revoked his statement? the only way in which i can see that being a problem is within these two scenarios:
1: he is in a heterosexual relationship and his girlfriend is less than pleased to find out her boyfriend may not be sexually attracted to her.
2: all his friends are jerky homo-phobes.
other than that...i really don't see how its a big deal. obviously its something that he would have to work out for himself, but i was really shocked when Girl 2 was flipping out about him not being able to take it back! i'll bet my life she's said plenty of things that she took back!
its annoying to me because finding your own identity is hard enough, and it involves constant re-inventing ( i myself went though a avril-esque punk phase with blue hair) so if he wants to take it back then let him take it back. there is too much pressure on people to be defined, maybe the real beauty of being an individual is being undefine-able.
2 comments:
I thought this little anecdote was really interesting for a few reasons. Primarily, because, prior to taking this class, I could have imagined myself having a reaction similar to the girls on the T. Although I've always considered myself to be a pretty liberal thinker, even I would have had a hard time with a person suddenly taking something like that back. I had never realized that my liberal thinking had to extend beyond accepting/embracing homosexuality and actually account for the fact that sexuality is not black and white like I had always kind of just assumed.
There's a third scenario which doesn't necessarily need to overlap with the other two: internalized homophobia. He may have to work it out internally even if he has the most supportive friends and family. I think it's sort of an honesty / consistency thing. They've all assumed to have known him one way (the T conversation certainly seems to indicate it's a bit of a shock) and the fact that there's an alternative might, in his mind, let down the people he cares about.
Post a Comment